


He Walks Alone

by Chelsea072498



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:12:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chelsea072498/pseuds/Chelsea072498
Summary: Dean thinks about reader, how he treated her, and how he's ended up exactly where he knew he would be.





	He Walks Alone

  

##  **He Walks Alone**

“Admit it,” Dean said and looked into Y/N’s eyes. “You like arguing with me.”   

    Y/N shook her head. “No, Dean, I hate it! I hate fighting with you!”

    “Couldn’t tell, Sweetheart.” He took a long sip from his bottle. “Seems that’s all we do anymore.”

    Dean reached for the bottle of whiskey and took a sip as the shower’s hot water poured down on his body.

He’s been drunk for days. He’s been miserable. She’s gone.

Dean knows she’s never coming back.

_I walk a lonely road_

_The only one that I have ever known_

_Don’t know where it goes_

_But it’s only me, and I walk alone_

    Dean put his hands on the wall in front of him. He threw his head back, allowing the water hit his face. He had been wrong. Dean had been wrong, stubborn, and he took the love she had for him for granted.

   _“Please, listen to me! I’ve seen this before.” Y/N looked at Dean. “You know I have experience with this!”_

_“Experience?!” Mary screamed at her. “From what I’ve seen, you’re not a hunter. Maybe you went on a few cases growing up and maybe you’ve helped Sam and Dean from time to time, but you’re more of a housekeeper than a hunter.”_

_“Mom, be fair!” Sam stepped between them. “Y/N is a hell of a researcher. She does have experience with this monster. Let’s at least take a look at her journals and notes.”_

_Y/N looked to Dean, but he wouldn’t make eye contact. He shrugged and said, “I’m with Mom on this one.”_

    He took a long sip from the bottle of whiskey. She bought him that bottle as a gift. He wiped tears and water from his eyes as he slipped to the floor of the shower.

_I walk this empty street_

_On the boulevard of broken dreams_

_Where the city sleeps_

_And I’m the only one, and I walk alone_

    Dean hurt. Physically and emotionally. He wants her back. He needs her back. He’s tired of being alone. He’s tired of breaking everything he touches.

_“Dean, you have to tell her she’s wrong!” Y/N was concerned._

_Dean tried to talk to his mother. She’d gotten angry at him for siding with Y/N. Mary had instantly disliked her because of her family. She wanted her gone and refused to even give her a chance._

_“Dean!?” Mary looked at her eldest son, shocked. “You’re taking her side? You’re listening to a Y/L/N over your own mother?!”_

_“Mom, please!” Dean took a deep breath. “In this particular situation, Y/N actually knows more than any of us. She and her brother…”_

_“She knows nothing!” Mary shouted. “Dean, you’re a grown man and I want to respect that. She’s coming between us! She’s going to ruin our family!”_

    Dean stared into nothing. He’d given into his mother. He told her everything she wanted to hear and promised to take Y/N off the case.

_I’m walking down the line_

_That divides me somewhere in my mind_

_On the border line of the edge_

_And where I walk alone_

    Dean’s body shook as he allowed himself to truly break down - shook as he cried.

He had no idea that outside the shower room, Sam and his mother stood. Mary silently blamed Y/N for her son’s grief. Sam looked at his mother, a terrible thought entering his head. Had Mary chased Jody away also?

    Dean managed to bring the bottle to his lips. He hit his head against the wall twice.

_Read between the lines_

_What’s fucked up and everything’s all right_

_Check my vital signs to know I’m still alive_

_And I walk alone_

    “I’m fucking alone again.”

    Dean walked out of the library and saw Y/N standing a few feet away. She looked defeated, exhausted, and the tears falling down her cheeks broke his heart. He reached her, but she turned away and started toward her room.

    _“What the hell was that about?” She walked to the small closet and grabbed a bag._

_“Sam and I know you’re right,” Dean told her. “We won’t give Mom a chance…”_

_“We’ll go in and do it my way so she’s pissed at me? Again?” Y/N opened a drawer and started throwing all of it’s contents into the bag._

_“What do you want? She’s my mother!”_

_Y/N stopped shoving things into the bag and looked at him. “I thought I was the woman you wanted to attempt to have a life with. I thought…”_

_“What is it you want?! What do you want, Y/N?” Dean screamed at her._

_“There’s absolutely nothing you can give me, Dean!” Y/N screamed back. “ **I wanted you to fight for me,**  Dean!” She sat next to him on the bed._

_“I tried…”_

_“Not hard enough.”_

_He took her hands. She was packing. Y/N intended to leave. “What do you want? What can I do?”_

_“I don’t want anything anymore, Dean.” She kissed him softly. “I just want to get the hell out of here and away from you.”_

    Y/N was packed within the hour.

    Mary couldn’t resist one last fight.

     _“You can’t make it in this life, Sweetheart. You’re just not good enough,” Mary told her. “You have been stringing Dean along, haven’t you? Did you find someone else? Someone…”_

_Y/N looked at Dean. She saw that he was hurt by her decision, but she couldn’t stay._

_**“I wanted you to fight for me**.”_

    Her words rang in his ears. Dean saw the look on her face. He opened his mouth, but instead of saying the words she, and Mary, needed to hear, he turned and walked to his room.

    The water was starting to turn cold but Dean didn’t care. He was drunk. He was alone.

_I walk this empty street_

_On the boulevard of broken dreams_

_Where the city sleeps_

_And I’m the only one, and I walk alone_

    Dean knew he should have fought for Y/N. He should have protected her from everything and everyone, including his mother.

As he finishes the bottle of whiskey, Dean throws it hard, shattering the glass against the wall. Y/N was gone. Dean was alone. His dreams were broken, his heart in pieces.

    He was alone.

    He had his memories of a dream. A dream now broken and shattered like the bottle of whiskey he nursed that night.

    Dean Winchester was alone. He knew he was supposed to be alone. He wasn’t supposed to have happiness, he thought bitterly. He was supposed to make sure everyone else in the world was able to keep theirs, though…

_My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_Till then I walk alone_


End file.
